It’s normal for teenagers to feel sad or moody, but sometimes these feelings can linger and begin to affect many aspects of their life. When this happens, it could be a sign of depression.
Unlike adults with depression, teenagers rely on their parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their pain and get them the support they need. So if you have a teenager in your life, it’s important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs. In this guide, we’ll share how to tell if your teenager is depressed, the difference between teen and adult depression, how to talk to your depressed teenager, and things you can do to help.
If you’re a teenager with depression, you’re not alone. No matter how bad life may feel right now, there are many things you can do to start feeling better. Don’t hesitate to contact us at BestMind Behavioral Health to get the support you need.
How do I know if my teen is depressed?
Depression can be hard for a teen and their family, but there are many things you can do to help. The first step is to recognize what teenage depression looks like and how to spot the warning signs. While bad moods and acting out are a normal part of the adolescent experience, depression is more long-lasting, intense, and can have far-reaching consequences.
Below are some changes you may notice if your teenager has depression.
- Persistent negativity: Some teens with depression will cry often, however it is more common for them to display feelings of anger, frustration, irritability, or agitation.
- Self-criticism: Teens with depression can be very hard on themselves, focusing on failures or setbacks. They might blame themselves for things that are out of their control, focus on feelings of shame, guilt, ugliness, or unworthiness, and struggle to see positive aspects in themselves.
- Lack of interest: Depression can make a teen less interested in activities or hobbies they once enjoyed. They may seem apathetic and put less effort into themselves, their schoolwork, or social life.
- Sleep changes: Depressed teens may either sleep more than usual or struggle to fall asleep at night.
- Appetite changes: Depression can cause changes in appetite. Some teens with depression may lose interest in food and lose weight, while others may eat more than usual and gain weight.
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- Smartphone addiction: Smartphones can be a source of escapism for depressed teenagers. However, they can also increase isolation and worsen depressive symptoms.
- Poor academic performance: Teenagers with depression can struggle with schoolwork, lose interest in studying, or avoid completing their work. You might notice their grades dropping.
- Risky behaviors: Some depressed teenagers may engage in impulsive or reckless behavior, like drug and alcohol abuse, self-harm, unsafe sex, or reckless driving.
- Suicidal thoughts: Some depressed teenagers may have thoughts of suicide. If you think your teen may be thinking of suicide, don’t be afraid to talk to them about it from a place of love. Showing them they have support when they need it can protect teens from acting out on these thoughts.
Individually, these warning signs can simply be a normal part of the adolescent experience. But if you notice your child exhibiting five or more of these signs for at least two weeks or more, or one seems particularly intense, then it could be a sign of something more serious.
If your teen is talking or thinking about suicide, help is available. Visit the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline website or call or text 988.
What’s the difference between teen and adult depression?
There are some differences in how depression shows up for teenagers vs adults. The below signs are more commonly seen in adolescent depression than adults:
- Irritability or anger: Unlike adult depression, which is characterized by a sad or depressed mood, teen depression is often more focused on irritability, frustration, or anger.
- Unexplained aches and pains: Many depressed teenagers complain of physical ailments, such as headaches or stomachaches, which are usually unexplained and not attributed to a medical cause.
- Sensitivity to criticism: Feelings of worthlessness are common in depressed teenagers and can make them more sensitive to criticism, rejection, and failure.
- Social withdrawal: While depressed teens won’t isolate themselves as much as adults with depression, they might withdraw from most friends and family or start hanging out with a different crowd.
How do I know if my teenager has depression and isn’t just moody?
Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell if your teen is showing normal signs of ‘teenage angst’ or more serious symptoms of depression. If this is the case, ask yourself how long the symptoms have been going on, how intense they are, and how different your child is acting from their usual self. While moodiness is normal for many adolescents, persistent unhappiness, frustration, or lethargy is not.
If you’re still unsure, don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional who is trained to recognize the signs and symptoms and can provide more guidance. The team at BestMind Behavioral Health is always here to help.
How can I help my depressed teenager?
If you think your teenager has depression, there’s lots you can do to help. If left untreated, adolescent depression can have lasting consequences into adulthood, so don’t wait and hope the symptoms disappear on their own.
Even if you’re unsure if depression is the issue, it’s helpful to open up a dialogue and express your concerns in a loving and non-judgemental way. Let them know about the behaviors you’ve noticed and why they worry you, and ask them to share what they’re going through. Be prepared to truly listen with full attention and make it clear you’re here to provide support in whatever way they need.
How to talk to your depressed teenager
Some parents may feel uneasy or unsure about how to approach their depressed teen for a conversation. Below we offer some tips on opening up a conversation with your teen about depression.
Think about what you want to say
It’s not always the best idea to dive in without a plan. Take some time to think about what you want to say and keep it simple. Try to talk to your teen from their level, as a friend, and express that you’re worried and want to help them
Choose the right time
Timing can be everything when it comes to these kinds of conversations. Try to choose an appropriate moment when everyone is feeling calm and there’s enough time to talk without rushing so you can give your full attention to the conversation.
Listen and don’t lecture
It’s vital that you focus on listening and not providing your opinion or thoughts. Try not to criticize them, ask too many questions, or pass judgment on their feelings or behaviors. Getting your child to open up is the most important thing and your role is to listen and let them know you’re here for them unconditionally.
Ask open-ended questions
If you do ask questions, make them open ended. For example, you can start the conversation by saying, ‘What’s on your mind?’ and seeing how they respond. This can be more fruitful than a yes/no question like, ‘Are you okay?’
Keep your feelings to yourself
A teen’s depression and its associated behaviors can be difficult for parents and families, but it’s best to keep your emotions to yourself. Although it’s important to look after yourself, you also need to be there for your teenager. Make this conversation about their feelings and what you can do, and try to avoid talking about how their behavior is impacting you.
Validate their feelings
It’s important to acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings, even if they seem silly or irrational to you. Don’t try to explain that things ‘aren’t that bad’ or talk them out of depression. Validating their sadness, frustration, and pain can be a tremendous step towards making them feel supported.
Trust your instincts
Some teenagers will brush off their behavior and act like nothing is wrong. But if your gut tells you that’s not the case, don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted third party like a school counselor, teacher, or mental health professional. Sometimes, a depressed teenager won’t want to open up to their parents but will feel more comfortable expressing how they feel to someone else.
Don’t give up
Your first attempt at a conversation may not always be successful, but don’t give up if it doesn’t go well. It can be difficult for many teens to talk about their feelings, even if they want to. Try to respect their comfort level and not be too pushy if they’re not opening up. Be gentle, emphasize your willingness to listen, and try again later.
5 ways to help teens experiencing depression
Besides opening up a dialogue and listening to your teenager, there are other things you can do to support them through their depression. Below are some tips.
1. Keep them socializing
Many depressed teens withdraw from friends and hobbies they used to enjoy, but this isolation can worsen loneliness and other symptoms of depression. Try to help your teen maintain social connections by:
- Encouraging them to go out with friends or invite friends over
- Setting aside time to talk each day with no distractions
- Minimizing social media use, especially when socializing, working, or getting ready for bed
- Encouraging participation in activities they enjoy, such as sports, art, music, or any other interests they have.
See More: How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health and Causes Depression
2. Support their physical well-being
Physical and mental health are more connected than you think. Lack of activity, low-quality sleep, and poor diet can worsen depressive symptoms. Unfortunately, most teens are known for unhealthy habits like sleeping late, eating junk food, and spending hours on their devices. As a parent, one thing you can do to help your depressed teen is to encourage a healthier home environment that relieves depressive symptoms instead of exacerbating them.
Here are some tips to improve your teen’s physical health:
- Get them moving: Exercise plays a huge role in mental health. Encouraging your teen to get active and go a long way in improving their mood. The key is to make it fun! If they’re not the sporty type, think about things like dancing, hiking, cycling, skateboarding, or even just walking the dog.
- Provide a nutritious diet: Proper nutrition is important for brain health and mood support. Try to provide a healthy diet for your teen with good sources of protein, healthy fats, and fresh fruits and vegetables. If possible, avoid stocking too many sugary snacks or junk foods at home to prevent your teen from reaching towards these foods when they need a pick me up.
- Limit screen time: Many teens turn to their smartphones as a way to escape from everyday reality, but this can worsen depressive symptoms and increase feelings of loneliness and isolation. Try to limit screen time by gently suggesting small breaks or planning family activities that don’t involve screens.
- Encourage sleep: Teenagers need around 9 to 10 hours of sleep per night to function their best. Where possible, try to make sure your teen isn’t staying up too late at night and encourage restful sleep.
Keep Reading: How Diet and Exercise Affect Your Mental Health
3. Know when to seek professional help
Social connection and physical health can be super helpful for improving mental well-being, but sometimes it’s not enough. If your teenager has severe depression, seeking support from an experienced mental health professional is important.
When seeking professional support for teen depression, be sure to involve your child in the process. This means choosing a treatment that they’re happy with and finding a mental health professional they feel comfortable around. This might take some time but is key to the success of treatment.
It’s also worth discussing the various treatment options available for your teen. Talk therapy may be effective for mild to moderate cases of depression. If that doesn’t work, it may be worth looking into antidepressant medications or TMS therapy for treating depression in adolescents.
See: Is TMS Appropriate for Treating Adolescents With Depression?
4. Be involved and supportive
Support doesn’t end once your teen starts depression treatment. It’s important to be there throughout the whole process and willing to listen and offer support when they need it.
Living with a depressed teenager can be difficult at times, and you may feel exhausted or rejected. But it’s important to remember that your child isn’t acting this way on purpose. Being patient and understanding is essential in helping them get through this time.
It’s also important to be involved in the treatment and ensure your teen is following the protocol, whether that’s showing up to consultations or taking medication prescribed correctly. Monitor changes in their condition and, if symptoms seem to worsen, contact their doctor or mental health provider.
5. Take care of yourself and other family members
Finally, make sure you continue caring for yourself and the rest of your family. It can be easy to focus all your energy towards your depressed teenager, but this can lead to you neglecting your own needs and other family members.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for your own support when you need to. Ask family or friends for help when you need it, and don’t keep your emotions to yourself. Find someone to talk to, whether it’s family, a support group, or a mental health professional of your own.
Remember that depression can be difficult on other siblings in the family too, and be sure not to neglect their own needs. Be open with them about your child’s depression and encourage them to share their feelings and give them individual attention when they need it.
Suicide warning signs for teenagers
Young adults with severe depression, and especially those who engage in substance abuse, can often talk about or attempt suicide. Some of these attempts are successful, so it’s essential you take any suicidal thoughts or behavior seriously.
Teen suicide warning signs to watch out for include:
- Talking or joking about suicide
- Writing stories or poems about death or suicide
- Giving away prized possessions
- Speaking positively about death
- Saying things like, ‘I’d be better off dead’ or ‘I wish I could disappear forever’
- Saying goodbye to close family and friends
- Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to commit suicide.
If you think you have a suicidal teen, it’s vital that you take action immediately. Call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to receive 24-hour suicide prevention and support in the U.S. If you live outside the U.S. find a suicide helpline near you by visiting suicide.org.
